There’s a New Accordion in the House

When I went to the company Halloween party last month, I had no idea it would lead to a brand new accordion. But 2,000 reward points for dressing up as Bjorn Borg and 3,000 points for placing 8th in the poker tournament meant I had 5,000 units of company love to spend. What did I choose? A brand-spanking-new Hohner Toy Accordion, for ages 4 and up.

My Hohner Toy Accordion

The concertina I coveted was upwards of 17,000 points, well out of my price range. With future opportunities for awards points uncertain, I plumped for this squeezebox for children and promptly forgot about it. Forgot, that is, until today, when my choice was vindicated.

Returning from lunch, I saw the cardboard box on my desk and knew immediately that I was the proud owner of my very own Stomach Steinway. Slipping it onto my trembling hands (due to a combination of joy, coffee and foosball), I began to play. The translucent blue plastic belied the heady resonance of the instrument, and like a mission of monkeys, several coworkers were lured into the room by the dulcet tones of my accordion. Had I a set of tin cups, I could have sent them scurrying around the office to collect alms. Sadly, I had no cups. However, the instrument had proved itself capable of great noises, and I looked forward to trying it at home.

After the requisite exercise, I attacked the concertina with gusto, squeezing, expanding, squeezing, expanding and swearing. A tricky device indeed, this accordion, but I persevered until I could play completely my new favorite song. Listen now, as I capture the subtlety of the tone shifts, the passion of a proud nation and the spirit of several generations of gypsy folk. For your aural pleasure, here is London Bridge.

The coming days look certain to be full of wonderful things; I’ll be traveling to Cape Cod and California in the near future, getting rich with Borgamo, plugging I’ll Believe You at every opportunity and spreading my knowledge to those who can afford it… BAMN! Now I can add learning the accordion to my list. I’m accept requests for my next song. It just has to be three notes or less.